About that thing called love...

"Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love."
Charlie Brown in "Peanuts"

Charlie Brown is one of my favorite cartoon heroes. Nothing makes me laugh quite as much as him and his illusive football. The truth of the matter however is that Charlie and his cronies always get to the heart of the matter. For all the humor it is very little fluff. It’s all substance when you break it down.
Valentine’s Day; dirty words for a single gal in her late 20s. I have always been good with the infamous V-day by myself, and have to say that the ones spent with significant others usually end up ticking me off due to way to much pressure and expectation. All that being said, the worst has to be spending Valentines looking into the eyes of one you love with all your heart and knowing there is nothing coming back in return. I’m a sensible girl. I don’t go gaga for much other than a new Alan Rickman movie at the Spartan 16. I, however, once or twice a decade fall so stupid in love with someone I cannot have that all my sensibilities and good intentions can be deemed null and void. Three times in my life I have had this happen. Middle School, freshman year of college and of course now in my blissful adultness I am stricken again. Two questions remain. Why do I only fall for men who are so out of my league? And why must I fall so hard?
There is no greater personal agony. Ok, so yes there, is but you go around with the sneaky feeling that everyone you know wants to shake you and tell you to get a grip, and yet don’t because they want to love you and support you even in your insanity. It’s positively beyond reason and you can’t stop your self once you start falling. All you can do it hope that someone puts a giant inflatable pillow out before the ground jumps up and smacks you in the face.
All that to say, as I decorate at work and church for this holiday of hearts and flowers bathed in shades of Pepto-Bismol, and fill out my Snoopy valentines for the masses I am a puddle of silly girlish giggles desiring once again what she cannot and shall not have.

Presidents and Saviors

Next week our country will inaugurate a new president. For many people this bring a lot of hope, joy and excitement, whereas for others this election has brought concern, fear and even hatred. Personally I voted for the guy, and I am pretty proud to say I did. This whole election brings back to mind a conversation with a teacher of mine in elementary school. As the child of devout Republicans, I was very upset when Bill Clinton was elected. I was 11 years old when he was inaugurated and my teacher made a comment about voting for him. My reaction was less than pleased and then that teacher (whose name I can never recall) taught me the greatest lesson I've ever had on politics. "We weren't asking for a savior." Those words have stuck with me through the years and every election season they come to mean more to me.
Our country is in a rough patch. Our economy is shot, we are in a war that the majority of our citizens disagree with on some level, and people's faith in government is at an all time low for my lifetime. All this being said, we weren't electing a savior. Those who are expecting Mr. Obama to be that will be sadly disappointed. That particular position was filled over 2000 years ago and new applicants are not being excepted. Jesus Christ is my Savior and Mr. Obama is my president (or will be in a week or so.) I also think that we as Americans need to be very clear that all of the hopes for our country need to be placed in Christ, not any man whether he be Democrat or Republican. Mr. Obama will accomplish nothing without God's divining it to be so. He is a man elected by the people to serve to the best of his ability and we should expect no more or no less from him than just that. He got my vote, but more importantly he has my prayers. I have to ask that all Christians in this country (even those devout Republicans) give him the same.

Sex education at Walgreens...

I stopped in at the drugstore yesterday to purchase some Junior Mints and Twizzlers to smuggle into the movie theater. Sherrie thinks I am genius because I smuggle movie theater boxes of candy into the theater. I suppose I am just that cool.
Anyway, in my wanderings at the Walgreens I noticed something new and slightly humorous. On the same aisle in consecutive order are condoms, pregnancy test, diapers and baby toys. How had I missed this? Someone in the marketing department for Walgreens has the most fabulous sense of humor. Here is your birth control, and if you think it didn't work, here's your test. Positive? No problem, we have the supplies to take care of you for the next couple of years. Amazing! All this to wonder, is this a subtle statement to teenagers? Are they trying to send sublemenal messages to the youth of America by making you look at diapers while buying condoms? Sneaky enough, but I personally just got a really good laugh while buying bootleg movie candy.

Waxing poetic...

For every friend, for every foe

I stand in awe of the places I will go

So much has past, so much to come

What exactly will this year become

Will I love more, Will I hate less

Will I truly strive to be my best

I dread to live to tell the tale of regrets again

And woulda, shoulda coulda beens

I think I am a woman of grace

I probably think way to much of this face

Lord give me patience with those who offend

Lord grant my humility on my own end

Let me give more, Let me take less

Let me be strong enough to stand my own test

This is the moment where the pendulum swings

Let me soar off the end to explore my own things

New Year, Old friends...

In making the end of year collage for 2008 and reading my pal Carrie's comment I am forced to think of the people who are missing from it. It was a great year, but looking ahead I have to say there are people I want brought back to the forefront in my life. The YaYa's, although were there as always to end and begin the year with me were distinctly absent from the rest of the year. The fault of course belongs entirely in my own lousy lap, and that is a situation that needs to rectified in the coming year. (Of course the two weddings should help greatly in that matter!)
Carrie and Bill. There have been times when they were the pillars that held me up. Carrie, who brings fun and laughter to a whole new level and Bill who makes me absolutely crazy, but grounds me like no one else. Their son is of course my nephew int he way that college makes a family and I have yet to pinch his cheeks like a good spinster aunt ought too. Again, a situation that must be fixed.
I suppose most obviously missing are the Corbins. How did I go a year with only 2 weekends in Asheville, and no pictures?!?! These are the parents and family I chose. They are a huge piece of my heart and in the silent moments I have felt their absence most severely. Living well and happy without them as a constant is probably the greatest testament to them and the health that they fostered in my life, but it is bittersweet. I need them. Not to have a reason to get up everyday, but just to love.
It's New Year, resolution time. Yes I need to loose weight and that's fine and good. I've given up soda and we will see how that goes, but more importantly I want to stop giving up time with my friends. That's my resolution.

Goodbye 2008

I can't get my head wrapped around a year end review so here are a few memories worth revisiting.