"Fear Not"

The angels said it, bill boards say it and even Jesus Christ himself said it in his preachings, but why on earth does it not stick into my head and heart.  A dear friend of mine is in the hospital right now, after having major surgery to remove a hemangioma the size of a soccer ball from her liver.  She is still in ICU in critical condition.  I know I should be praying constantly and consistently and I am trying but my head gets in the way and the fear muddles it all up.
Funny thing is, this is not a person I see everyday or even very often, but I always know she is there and the idea of her not being there scares me to emotional paralysis.  So I suppose today I am asking people to pray for Shirley McKinney, but also for me and the strength of my faith.  In so many ways Shirley was the one who taught me to pray and now more than ever I need to do it for her.

Praying...

The Apostle Paul said to pray without ceasing. When I was a teenager this thought struck me as insane. How could one live and function doing absolutely nothing but praying. Absolute absurdity.
Over the last weeks I have been bombarded with prayer requests from friends and family. From sick fathers and brothers, funerals, military deployment, starting college, lost co-workers and everything in between. These are not trivial things to take lightly. They are earnest requests from ones I love. Today is my mom's birthday and I am reminded that not so long ago I was the one requesting these prayers from my friends for her. My friends rallied and prayed until God gave her the ultimate healing, and then continued to pray for me. God's presence was ever there and I could feel all of the prayers being lifted up around me.
Today my only question is how can one live and function without praying constantly? This open full communication with a loving Father is not only a line for making requests like a letter to Santa, but a true source of comfort and strength no matter what the situation is. Like every good parent the answer is not always yes. Sometimes it is a flat no becasue we ask for things that despite our own resoning are not in our best interests. Sometimes the answer is not yet, and sometimes the answer comes in a way we never anticipated.
Prayer is the ultimate both of faith between us and our Heavenly Father. It is like the diaries we kept hidden under the mattress in 6th grade. A full disclosure of your heart to one who loves you like no other could.
Today I am praying more than ever and I hope you will include me in yours as well.

Waxing theologethic in Hollywood

Ok, gasp, I went to see Angels and Demons yesterday at the cinema...I confess I am a Dan Brown junkie. Here's the kicker, a movie based on a Dan Brown novel has had me thinking about and praising God all day...who knew?
Essentially the conclusion of the film got me to thinking. An aging cardinal speaking to a young professor who is religiously neutral says, and pardon the paraphrase, that religion is imperfect, but only because we (human beings) are imperfect...now that got my wheels spinning.
We as Christians serve a perfect God, and we in human form are fully imperfect. This got me to thinking. Religion is imperfect because religion was created and is carried out by men. Men and women who pervert holy teachings to achieve their own ends tend to be the cornerstone of "religion" in the world. God however is still imperfect with truth as his beacon in the darkness of conflicting religions that seek to explain God better than the next. It's interesting to me that we create something so imperfect in the name of one who is perfect. Instead of serving and building a real relationship with God, men throughout time have used God's name to further themselves and build their own pedestals and monuments. God has never changed, and has never wavered in his opinions on the pharisees of Christ's time or the modern day marvels of Christendom in ours. Whether you subscribe to the Catholic teachings of the Vatican or the mega church phenomenon in Bible Belt, USA you have to admit that mass herding for the sake of cash flow and book sales is not what God had in mind when he endorsed church. I believe he wanted believers who could support each other in spiritual growth as well as other daily challenges. People who can come together in his name to praise him, but also love one another in simplicity and truth. I think when we come away from that and talk about how Rev. So-and-so can draw such a large crowd, and Preacher What's his name can raise so much money we have left the perfection of God and dove full on into the realm of religion. Here's a hint, people are turned off by religion, but someone who will listen and love you in spite of your own imperfection is generally welcomed.
Thanks Mr Brown for writing the book, and Ron Howard for directing a brilliant movie, because God can use a piece of fiction when he desires...he is God afterall...

Sadness...

So amid all the joy and frivolity of this season, here comes tragedy. We know that death comes to us all eventually; no man is immortal. But at Christmas death seems somehow more cruel, more real and in some ways more final. The death of a friends mother reduced me to a puddle last night. I have never met this woman and yet her death brought a flood of emotion from me. Memories of my own mother's death two years ago came rushing up to the surface and all my strength and diginified reserve were lost.
This year Christmas has been so vivid, in such full technicolor. The joy of it has been overwhelming, and on the flip side this sadness is just as vivid and rich. My prayers are with my friends and their loss but selfishly it makes me turn inward and mourn my own losses. It also makes me want to build up the walls of defense another layer. I want to protect myslef from the hurt and so up goes the protective barriers. The problem with these barriers is that while they protect from the pain the lock out the joy and reduce the vivid colors to grays. It's a constant stuggle for me to keep the walls down and enlist a little bravery against the sadness.
In the mean time, say a prayer for the Edge family and love the ones you have a little more this Christmas.