Well...

I suppose I should write some sort of summer review since I have been derelict in my writings and certainly have some wondering if I have fallen off the planet.  I however cannot wrap my head around that at this hour and in all honestly I floated through this summer only halfway acknowledging my own existence.
Truth is I suppose I have floated in and out of the last few years only halfway present.
It's autumn and this is my favorite time of year.  From that first chill in the air in September until the Christmas trees all come down is the time I live my whole year for.  It always feels magical and special.  College football, Halloween costumes, Thanksgiving, my birthday, Christmas parades and Choir musicals; I love it all!  But it also the hardest time of year, it's when I lost my mom, when I lost Asheville and the time of year that twice upon a time, I lost myself.
This autumn the biggest change maybe the realization that I need to reclaim myself.  I have rebuilt myself in the image of what I thought someone needed me to be, and lost the person I was.  In the end it has gained me nothing except a laundry pile of things to weed through and decide what must be tossed, recycled, or kept as a token from this time.
So no resolutions, but just a solemn promise to seek out and find the driven, artistic, beautiful woman than lies inside of all this clutter that I mucked my life up with.
I'm done with the tears and late night angst that could rival anything I ever did in my teenage years.  In the words of C.S. Lewis, "further up, further in."